The Mind Loops Blog – July 2020
I am stunned by the intensity of the divisiveness between people these days. You say one comment about wearing a mask (no matter which side of the debate you’re on) and you’re condemned and personally insulted; you make a concerned comment about the environment (or any other trigger topic) and you receive vitriol laced with angry spit.
While I am usually a strong proponent of “speaking up” when necessary – particularly because I learned that not speaking up for many years led to endless Mind Loops – I have decided that, for the time being, keeping my mouth shut is a healthier choice. Not only for my physical safety (a bus driver was literally beaten to death in Paris when he asked 4 riders to put on masks as was the law) – but also for my emotional health – to not give away my power. Here is what I mean by that:
When we allow ourselves to get entangled in an argument over masks, politics, the fate of the environment – or even whose turn it is to take the garbage out – and we feel the burn of anger arise… we have allowed another person to CONTROL US.
We have allowed another person’s comment to trigger us, distract us, weaken our sense of serenity – and even on a physiological level, caused the brain chemical of adrenaline to surge through our body!
We allowed someone else to control how we feel.
This is one way we “give away our power” and it leads to tremendous resentment, cellular destruction from the cortisol and adrenaline surge – and even a weakened immune system from the stress.
So what are we supposed to do? Never express our views, never respond to what we believe are ridiculous statements and beliefs, never right a “wrong”?
No. But pick your battles. Do you really think you have a chance in hell of changing someone’s mind? Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot: Does someone else have a chance in hell in changing your mind on any of the triggering subjects these days? I doubt it. So why bother? Why engage? Why use your precious life energy trying to prove yourself right in a battle that cannot be won?
So we can take a deep breath, respond with “Thank you for sharing,” or “We’ll have to just agree to disagree,” and then change the subject – or just ignore it altogether. You won’t be “giving in” or “letting them win.” No one has won. You remain two people with disparate views. And that’s ok.
To strengthen your power:
Place your focus instead on the people you connect with, the activities you love to do, your five senses (lovely smells, the sunshine, the breeze on your skin, delicious food) – and the fact you’re alive and breathing and getting to even experience this completely bizarre era we’re in.
To your empowered You,
Author of the #1 Amazon Kindle Bestseller, How To Stop Negative Thoughts
Contributing author of the #1 Amazon Bestseller, The Transformative Power of Near-Death Experiences
2 thoughts on “No More Giving Away Your Power”
You are like a magician for me. Always providing me with the piece of info/magic that is exactly needed for that particular challenge. I am so grateful to you. Thanks Barbara!!
And I am grateful for YOU, John. Thank you for connecting here, and sharing your thoughts. ❤