The Mind Loops Blog – Nov, 2023
In the private conversations of our own minds lies a haunting specter: The fear of stagnation. A disquieting sensation that we’re trapped in a relentless cycle:
Wake up, eat, go to work, eat, watch a little TV, sleep.
Punctuated by a series of troubles and hassles.
Nothing new or exciting happens (besides the negative kind). We ask ourselves:
Is this really all there is? What’s the purpose?
Stagnation is a state of inertia, where the hours and days blur together, rendering life monotonous. It’s a silent companion we may carry for days, months, or even years, casting shadows over our aspirations.
This feeling is universal. Irritating at best, it can be downright discouraging, and lead to profound melancholia at worst.
Yet, stagnation, while haunting, is not a perpetual condition; it’s a chapter in the larger narrative of personal growth.
Courage To Embrace Change
To step out of stagnation’s shadow, you must first summon courage.
Courage for what? To embrace change.
It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Yet change is not for the faint of heart. Change can feel immensely unsettling since it requires venturing outside your comfort zone. Which is a big reason why we remain in stagnation. It’s safer there.
Yet it’s precisely in these moments of vulnerability
and risking failure, and letting go of control
that we experience personal growth beyond our wildest expectations.
The Guiding Light of Meaningful Goals
So what type of change is worth the discomfort of venturing out of your comfort zone?
The change that occurs when you reach toward a dream or desire or passion that has been patiently waiting for you… and pull it out, dust it off, and finally focus on it.
Perhaps it’s an instrument you always wanted to play. Or opening an account on a dating app. Joining a gym. Changing your hair and clothes style. Moving. Having passionate sex for the first time in years. Signing up for an live drawing class. Publishing short stories. Hosting a party. Visiting Japan.
What is the first thing that pops into your head when you read this question:
Something I have always wanted to do but was afraid to start is…
One Step
If you’re really ready to step out of stagnation, take ONE STEP toward this goal or dream. One easy step. Can you think of one first step right now?
Examples of your ‘One Step’ to ignite your own brainstorming:
• Walk for 15-20 minutes (= 1 mile) to begin an exercise habit.
• Google which publications accept short stories from debut writers.
• Sign up for a MasterClass on composing, cooking, or how to think like a scientist.
• Send a text to an acquaintance whom you’d like to know better to join you for coffee.
In addition to your One Step, allow your desire start infiltrating your psyche.
Daydream about your goal as you fall asleep. Ponder it as you go on walks by yourself. Read a book or articles about it, or watch a movie about someone who went on a similar journey.
Dancing with Mistakes
What about the fear of making mistakes?
What if you join a live drawing class and your rendition of the model looks more like an amphibian than a woman?
What if you get 10 rejection letter in a row from publishers?
What if you accidentally burp (loudly) on a first date with a gorgeous prospect? (ugh! sigh…)
These moments will cause most of us to want to crawl back into stagnation.
But any misstep is not a sign of defeat, but the grace of personal growth.
Every ‘mistake’ becomes a transformative lesson, guiding you forward. They teach tremendous lessons, and help develop courage and resiliency.
(even the burp – it reminds us to not take things so seriously! and to have compassion when your gorgeous prospects accidentally farts.)
And even though ‘mistakes’ can be painful (and don’t we all know it!), I guarantee they will redirect you to the people and places and development of skills that are right for you.
‘Mistakes’ are in essence, not failures, but gateways to progress. To fear them is to stagnate; to embrace them is to grow.
Not a Solo Journey
As you lean into change and move out of stagnation, remember you don’t need to “go it alone.” Wisdom and inspiration are available to help support and direct you. Here are a few voices to check out:
- “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle: A profound exploration of living in the present, casting away past regrets and future anxieties – in other words, Mind Loops!
- “The Tim Ferriss Show” Podcast: Tons of insights via interviews with fascinating people who have conquered challenges, and attained remarkable personal growth in the process.
- Local Meetup Groups: Develop connections with kindred spirits – people interested in similar goals and desires as you. In unity, you find strength and inspiration.
- Mentoring: I am available for mentoring – as are many other coaches and therapists. Reach out if/when you need a supportive voice at barbara@themindloopgroup.com
Your Potential Is Calling You
Stagnation is only a chapter in your personal growth journey. With the courage to embrace change, make mistakes, and take action with One Step toward your goal, stagnation will have no other choice but to release its grasp.
The world awaits not only the incredible person you already ARE – but the one you are destined to BECOME. Your potential is waiting to be unleashed.
Please share below one dream that has been calling out to you for a long time… and One Step you will take toward it. I and the Mind Loops community will feel inspired to hear about your journey!
Love, Barbara
Barbara Ireland
Author of the #1 Amazon Kindle Bestseller, How To Stop Negative Thoughts
Contributing author of the #1 Amazon Bestseller, The Transformative Power of Near-Death Experiences
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HOW TO STOP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS 
I have always felt drawn to plants, or the life within perhaps, but have never put the time/energy into making a garden grow or plant some seeds and just see what happens. It has always felt like a “chore” that I need to learn ALL about it and know everything I possibly can before I can start. Well, I decided that’s silly. Think of all the joy I could have added to my life had I just given it a go years ago. So I did! I planted sunflowers near my birdbath and that’s just the start! 🙂 They are still tiny but my happiness is huge!!
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That is one of most joyful comments ever! And sunflowers of all things – that means BIG, TALL cheerfulness ahead! Isn’t it odd the things we tell ourselves that stop us from moving forward on things? In retrospect, mine always seem so odd to me. As in, “Why on earth did I think that?!” Feels great to start “waking up”, doesn’t it? So excited for you! (Btw… someone just sent me a youtube video of how to roast and eat the heads of sunflowers – thought I’d mention in case so many come up that you need to thin them out…!)
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I talk to my daughter in my mind a lot. I feel so tangled up and frustrated. Her choices lead her and her daughters into chaos. My fear is she’ll trap herself into an even worse situation and her girls will be unhappy. If she gets sick or unable to care for them the burden will fall back on us. We’re retired and want to enjoy it. My worries under write my freedom. Thank you for the video I just listened of you telling your story. I will begin to note my thoughts and replace them with better ones.
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Oh goodness Susanne, I can relate – and I’m so sorry to hear about this. My biggest mind loop was WORRY – because I cared about the person of course, AND because I didn’t want their behavior causing problems in my life either! So I GET it. De-looping those thoughts/worries WILL help. It helped me to LET GO more, and enjoy my life. If something does “erupt”, you will know how to deal with it – AT THAT TIME. Worry is such a terrible energy and joy sapper. And hopefully this statistic will help: 85% of all worries never even happen; and of the remaining amount, 12% end up not being anywhere near as bad as we predict. Sending you good energy! xo Barbara
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