If You Feel Like Kicking Your New Years Resolutions Out the Door: How To Fix Resolution DISCOURAGEMENT & OVERWHELM
Dealing With Resolution DISCOURAGEMENT
Jan 2016– Now that we’re in the 3rd week of January, there’s a chance some of that excitement and commitment to your New Year’s Resolution has faded. Perhaps you haven’t done it ‘perfectly’, or maybe it turned out to be harder than you thought it would be.
This is a dangerous time for any goal or Resolution. Because whenever there are ‘bumps in the road,’ we might want to just bump that Resolution right out the door.
So when the going gets tough, or you’ve been forgetting to do the new habit you created so you start thinking, “Oh… To hell with that Resolution anyway!”… That’s the time to remind yourself of 2 things:
Reminder #1:
“WHY did I make this Resolution/goal in the first place?”
Making changes isn’t easy – but there was a reason you chose this Resolution in the first place, right? It must have been very important to you – at least it was on January 1st.
What was that reason?
When you reconnect to your WHY, suddenly the bumps in the road aren’t as discouraging.
When you reconnect with your WHY:
• you’ll be reenergized physically, mentally and emotionally
• Mind Loops about how hard it is to keep going with your Big Dream/goal will fade
• your commitment to your Resolution will be reinvigorated and you’ll get back into ACTION.
Reminder #2 is simply this:
“There’s going to be bumps on the way to my goal!”
Yeah. Obvious, right? But for some reason, when we design a Big Goal or Resolution (“I’m going to lose 10 pounds by April” “I’m going to get a new job in the next 6 months”), we don’t spend much time thinking about the fact that there will be difficulties as we work to make that change; that we’ll probably want to quit at some point or that, damn, it’s actually kind of hard.
Simply reminding yourself that bumps will happen somehow makes them not so disturbing and disheartening when they appear. They’re expected.
So instead of getting down on yourself for eating some chips, not going to the gym, or not sending out your resume that day, it’ll be okay. It doesn’t mean it’s all over or that you’re a bad person or that you failed. You’re just human.
Just get back on the wagon again.
And now… Dealing With Resolution OVERWHELM
Your goal might be big… You don’t know how the heck you’re going to actually get there… It’s causing Mind Loop anxiety because it’s a s-t-r-e-t-c-h for you and just the thought of it causes your shoulders to get as tight as a boxer’s fist.
That’s okay. You’re not there yet. You’re still on the WAY to the finish line!
By the time you’re actually doing your goal (working at that new job, performing onstage, not smoking), you’ll be a DIFFERENT PERSON.
How you become that different person is by taking one actionable step at a time towards your goal.
So every morning, ask yourself: “What ONE STEP can I take towards my 2016 goal?”
Then make sure you actually TAKE IT. It can be small. It can be to send an email to someone. Or eat just one less cookie today. Or smoke just a half less of a cigarette.
The KEY is to commit to taking your ONE STEP.
That will develop courage (the nemesis of dis-COURAGE-ment), and slowly start turning you into the person who will easily be capable of handling the Big Dream you have for yourself when the time comes. You’ll look back on your steps and think, “Oh my god, I remember how anxious I was about doing that! How funny! It’s so easy for me now.”
YOUR CHALLENGE THIS WEEK:
1) If you’re feeling discouraged about staying on track with your Resolution – and maybe are even debating whether you should just give up on your Big Dream, ask yourself:
“WHY did I make this Resolution/goal in the first place?”
Write down the deeper reasons for your goal. Drill down and keep asking yourself ‘WHY?’
If you want to lose 10 pounds… why? What’s under that goal?
You want to look better? Why? Because you just started dating again and want to look and feel your best? Why?
Or: So you’ll have more energy? Energy for what? Why are those things important to you?
Keep asking WHY after each answer until you’ve drilled down to the deepest meaning of why you chose this Resolution. You may be surprised at what’s hiding beneath the desire.
2) To avoid beating yourself up with self-critical Mind Loops on those days you’ve fallen off the wagon with your goal or new habit, remind yourself:
“There’s going to be bumps on the way to my goal!”
Just that knowledge will lower your expectations that everything’s going to go perfectly as long as you plan and control things as tightly as you can. Because it won’t go perfectly, no matter what you do!
The thing is: I know you’re up for the challenge. No need to let the bumps stop you.
3) To keep momentum with your goal and avoid Resolution Overwhelm:
Every morning, ask yourself: “What ONE STEP can I take towards my 2016 goal?”
Then give you and your Big Dream priority by making sure you actually DO that one action step. Even if it’s something small.
I hope these ideas serve you as you keep moving towards your Big Dreams and Resolutions – and AWAY from Mind Loops that hold you back.
I want to THANK YOU for being part of this Mind Loops community. And for all the comments you send me after reading these articles – I always appreciate your feedback!
And I appreciate YOU.
To your happiness!
Barbara
HOW TO STOP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS 