HOW TO STOP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

Jan, 2016 – I hope you had an INSPIRING turn of the New Year, and that your beginning of 2016 is ENERGIZED and off on just the right foot.

To help support you in that, I want to share some tips that will combat 3 common Resolutions issues:

New Years Resolution Vagueness, Overwhelm, and Discouragement.

Because if you’re a New Years Resolution-maker (or you just have specific goals for 2016) – both of which are AWESOME – Mind Loops can start seeping in and derail you and your Great Plans.

Resolutions Meet Mind Loops 

We all know people (I include myself in this category) who sometimes aren’t so resolute about their Resolutions. Somehow or other those goals aren’t reached; they get dropped because they seem too hard, or we lose that spark of excitement, or we feel discouraged and give up.

That allows Mind Loops to start taking over:

“That goal is too big, it feels scary, out of my league… I guess I’ll drop it.”

“This is too hard. I’ll never do it.”

“Why isn’t this working?! It’s not going to work!”

“This isn’t fun! I’m stopping.”

“I know I’m going to be sh*tty at this anyway, I better stop while I’m ahead.”

I hope you get out a notebook and your favorite beverage, and spend a few minutes on these. It’ll make your year so much more fun, exciting, and successful. It’s a proactive way to stop Mind Loops before they have a chance to stop you.

Ready? Here’s Part 1 of your New Years Resolution series:

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New Years Resolutions Part 1:

Two Questions To Ask Yourself To Eliminate 

RESOLUTION VAGUENESS

Hitting the Mark

An important aspect of Resolutions is knowing when you’ve hit your mark. Sometimes the changes we want to make are so general that we won’t know if we actually hit them.

Having a vague or generalized goal is a big invitation to let Mind Loops enter!

At the end of the year we discover we never hit our mark… because it was unclear what the end goal actually was! That can create Mind Loops of discouragement, self-criticism, and failure.

So to make sure you haven’t made a Resolution that’s too loosey-goosey, ask yourself and write down your answer to this question:

QUESTION #1:

“How will I KNOW I’ve reached this goal?”

For example:

How much weight specifically do you intend to lose?

How much ‘more money’ specifically do you want to earn (that you can actually ENVISION yourself earning and owning? That’s key).

For Resolutions like: “I intend to be be a better partner” (or better parent, friend, boss, person, etc)…

What does ‘better’ mean to you? How will you KNOW you’re a ‘better partner’ now?

Will your partner want to spend more time with you? Be excited to see you when you both get home? Want to rub whipped cream all over your body? 😉 Or maybe there’ll just be more peace in the house.

QUESTION #2:

“What SPECIFIC STEPS can I take – or HABITS can I create – to make this goal a reality?”

I know this sounds pretty basic. But do you actually KNOW the specific steps you need to take to make your dream a reality?

Without clear steps to take, it’s easy to feel lost about HOW to make the change.

So we either forget all about the Resolution and life goes back to status quo — which often means a life way below the happiness level we’re looking for…

Or we get Mind Loops and feel frustrated and overwhelmed because we know this goal is on our list but we have no idea what to do to make it happen.

And creating new habits can be a game-changer. Even SMALL, new habits can chip away at your goal, day by day.

Here are some example of specific steps or habits someone might have for the Resolution of “I’m going to be a better partner”:

-Every day I’m going to think about what I appreciate about my partner. I’m going to let those thoughts infuse my body with love for them.

-I’m going to give a compliment every day to my partner, no matter how small. I’ll set a reminder on my phone if I need to, to remember to do this.

-I’ll specifically work on my patience (or kindness, listening, affection, generosity, smiling, presence, etc) to help our relationship.

-I’ll set aside one night every week to go on a really fun, unique date or adventure with my awesome partner.

YOUR CHALLENGE THIS WEEK:

1) Write down all the SPECIFIC successes or joyful moments you experienced LAST year — letting the feeling of them actually INTO YOUR BODY. 

So often we rush through life to the point where we don’t even realize all the successes and amazing experiences we actually had. We don’t remember that we made a new friend that year, or what the specific highlights were from trips we took – or even that we hit a goal we’ve ached to reach for a long time.

Looking back on the highlights of last year with FONDNESS will instantly increase your mood and help set you up for a fantastic 2016.

2) Ask yourself the two questions to help eliminate Resolution Vagueness:

“How will I KNOW I’ve reached this goal?”

“What SPECIFIC STEPS can I take or HABITS can I create towards making this goal a reality?”

Even if you don’t know ALL of the steps towards making your Resolution come to fruition, write down the actions you know right now you can take. As you work towards your goal, more steps will make themselves visible.

When the vagueness disappears and you have specific steps in mind to take, a peace will enter your mind – AND excitement too.

And at the end of this year, you’ll get to reflect back on 2016 with satisfaction and MEGA fondness.

Because whether or not you actually reach your goals in exactly the way you envisioned them to be, you’ll have taken action. And taking action means you’ll have gained courage and experience too – and hopefully a lot of joy in the process.

Part 2 of your New Year’s Resolution series, “How To Fix Resolution Overwhelm and Discouragement” will be coming soon!

Wishing you the most extraordinary New Year ever!

Love,

Barbara